hurt

im so hurt right now that i cant breath. its not fair i dont get to be there to see you and that he doesnt tell me things. it makes me so angry and frustrated.

im just plain hurt

Pride

I have 5 other apartment mates. one of them...likes to bring random dudes home. and so im rather bitter when its 10:30 and in my pjs going out to get something from the fridge and there is a guy...sitting at the kitchen table. i pretend that they are there and for the most part, they leave me alone. but there was this one guy who took notice of my marine sweatshirt.

he goes, "i love it, showing pride in the marines. everyone should do that."

I give him a sour look for disrupting my peace, " yes well im engaged to one."

his eye brows raise, "OH REALLY!! well you can you do one thing for me? tell him thank you for serving."

i nod and walk back to my room.

the guy was a creep but every one should do it. whether u know sumone in, or not. or it doesnt even have to be marines. any of them. army, national guard, navy! just be proud of someone and something.

Now that he is at training for the whole fire fighting thing, he has his comp and all of that and have come quite a huge fan of facebook. i must say...i get jealous. easily and often and it kills me. It seems as if his whooole family is on facebook and always on him about things. i mean thats great. he can keep in contact with people but it bugs the shit outta me when he NEVER comments me back. he NEVER writes to me or says anything to be. and i know we skype every night...but its still nice to have those few small things. and even when i post something to his wall, his whole family comments on it, but not him. so id just rather delete the message. but thats just me. being far away is dumb. and i dont like it one bit.

HE GOT HIS ORDERS!!

He is going to North Carolina! NOT JAPAN!!!!! I couldnt be happier!! i would die if he had gone to japan. i would have worn a yellow ribbon in my hair every single day. BUT HES STAYING IN THE US!!!

Ive never had a guy make my chest hurt so bad. He makes my heart beat wildly out of control and i can feel my skin getting hot all over. Now ive never had a panic attack...if i had i believe this is what it would feel like. I have to force myself to calm down. to breath. To think about something else and it drives me nuts

One morning it woke me up every hour and i thought my heart was gonna beat outta my chest. and i felt nauseous as hell. he makes me nervous because he is so far away. its not like high school where no matter what...id see him the next. This is so different.

so freaking frustrating. i hate feeling so ALONE.

i cant stop thinking about him

i love him too much

stupid skype

Skype is SOOOOO frustrating!!!! i just want to see him! ahhhh

from one marine to another marine's fiance

I was at my college cafe today and was paying for my food and gave one of the supervisors my swipe card. My card is attached to a marines.com lanyard and he looked at me and asked who i knew in the marines. I said my fiance, actually and he seemed to get rather excited. He then went on to tell me he was in the marines and was in the reserves and he told me he used to take part guns and stuff. He asked what my fiance did and i said aviation rescue.

He was explaining things in the lame girls way because i think he was expecting me to know what things meant. But i was proud of myself for knowing more than he thought!

It just goes to show there are marines everywhere. They are hidden among us civilians and most of us will never know. But wearing marine things bring the marine out in people because there is a connection there that only a few people have.

Be proud of a marine

I know i am

I miss him more than ever today. I feel like a laptop without my charger.
I want my marine back! i want to feel his arms around me again!

Calling all cat lovers

Everyone has time for a cat. Even if just for a second.

The new age video game

All through high school my guy used to play pretty much every game possible. He had his xbox and his psp and of course world or warcraft. When he went into the Marine Corps i thought maybe...perhaps some of that stuff would come in handy. He is in Basic artillery training, well actually he just finished. But he sent me a picture message of some guns laying on the ground. and he told me this was his new video game.

I wasnt sure how to respond. I guess that stuff really did come in handy and i cant blame him for having fun. The new generation is so different then the last. I love him and i hope he just stays safe! <3<3<3<3<3

The cake

Im a baking and pastry art major so im still deciding on whether or not to make my own cake. I know it would be so awesome if i could. My fiance would love the x-box!! haha

this is the story of our lives and im still trying to get used to it.

Fiance

You think you know me, but you haven't the slightest clue.

Im the brunette standing behind you in line at the grocery store, eyeing the newest "Support Our Troops" magnet while paging through the latest issue of Modern Bride. The look on her face is complacent and her thoughts are thousands of miles away on some military base she's only been verbally described of over the phone.

Im the young girl in the next car with the windows rolled up and the glassy visage only on the road ahead. The radio is set to one of the local country stations which is currently playing "Letters From Home." But you can't hear it because you're talking to a family member or a friend on your cell phone. You catch a glance at the Marines sticker on the bumper of her car but you don't know that when the song reaches my dearest love it's almost dawn, I've been laying here all night long, wondering where you might be, her heart breaks a thousand times.

Im the young woman who is planning an entire wedding on her own, with only the little input she can get from her husband-to-be over the phone.

Im the girl who visits the Marine Corp Wives website at odd hours of the night to find some kind of comfort for that lonesome feeling that has settled in the pit of her stomach.

Im the woman who has fought an inner battle, trying to accept the path the man she loves has chosen. I'm the woman who will willingly sacrifice her family, her home to follow a man clear across the country. I'm the woman who never asked for this but deals with it without complaint.

Im the young woman who swells with pride every time she sees her Marine standing tall in his dress blues. I.m the one who spots a Marine sticker, license plate, or flag and feels a connection with its owner, hoping that maybe she's not alone in this melancholy, sacrificial situation.

Im the one who hates war but knows that it's a necessary thing. I'm the one who supports her President, regardless of her own opinion because he is the boss of her soon to be husband, because he.s the man who our troops are fighting under.

I am the young woman who tries her hardest to go about her everyday life. I am the young woman who tries to concentrate during her classes and do the job she gets paid to do. I am the young woman who hates sleeping alone. I am the young woman who closes her eyes and pretends that the man she loves is laying right there next to her, his arms wrapped around her. I am the young woman who tries not to miss him, who tries not to cry whenever she hears his name or even the mention of soldiers. I am the woman who is terrified that the love of her life will be sent off to war, enabling them to get married when they had planned, hoped, and prayed.

I am many things.

A daughter.

A sister.

A cousin.

A niece.

A co-worker.

A friend.

But most importantly, I am the fiance of a United States Marine.