hurt

im so hurt right now that i cant breath. its not fair i dont get to be there to see you and that he doesnt tell me things. it makes me so angry and frustrated.

im just plain hurt

Pride

I have 5 other apartment mates. one of them...likes to bring random dudes home. and so im rather bitter when its 10:30 and in my pjs going out to get something from the fridge and there is a guy...sitting at the kitchen table. i pretend that they are there and for the most part, they leave me alone. but there was this one guy who took notice of my marine sweatshirt.

he goes, "i love it, showing pride in the marines. everyone should do that."

I give him a sour look for disrupting my peace, " yes well im engaged to one."

his eye brows raise, "OH REALLY!! well you can you do one thing for me? tell him thank you for serving."

i nod and walk back to my room.

the guy was a creep but every one should do it. whether u know sumone in, or not. or it doesnt even have to be marines. any of them. army, national guard, navy! just be proud of someone and something.

Now that he is at training for the whole fire fighting thing, he has his comp and all of that and have come quite a huge fan of facebook. i must say...i get jealous. easily and often and it kills me. It seems as if his whooole family is on facebook and always on him about things. i mean thats great. he can keep in contact with people but it bugs the shit outta me when he NEVER comments me back. he NEVER writes to me or says anything to be. and i know we skype every night...but its still nice to have those few small things. and even when i post something to his wall, his whole family comments on it, but not him. so id just rather delete the message. but thats just me. being far away is dumb. and i dont like it one bit.

HE GOT HIS ORDERS!!

He is going to North Carolina! NOT JAPAN!!!!! I couldnt be happier!! i would die if he had gone to japan. i would have worn a yellow ribbon in my hair every single day. BUT HES STAYING IN THE US!!!

Ive never had a guy make my chest hurt so bad. He makes my heart beat wildly out of control and i can feel my skin getting hot all over. Now ive never had a panic attack...if i had i believe this is what it would feel like. I have to force myself to calm down. to breath. To think about something else and it drives me nuts

One morning it woke me up every hour and i thought my heart was gonna beat outta my chest. and i felt nauseous as hell. he makes me nervous because he is so far away. its not like high school where no matter what...id see him the next. This is so different.

so freaking frustrating. i hate feeling so ALONE.

i cant stop thinking about him

i love him too much

stupid skype

Skype is SOOOOO frustrating!!!! i just want to see him! ahhhh

from one marine to another marine's fiance

I was at my college cafe today and was paying for my food and gave one of the supervisors my swipe card. My card is attached to a marines.com lanyard and he looked at me and asked who i knew in the marines. I said my fiance, actually and he seemed to get rather excited. He then went on to tell me he was in the marines and was in the reserves and he told me he used to take part guns and stuff. He asked what my fiance did and i said aviation rescue.

He was explaining things in the lame girls way because i think he was expecting me to know what things meant. But i was proud of myself for knowing more than he thought!

It just goes to show there are marines everywhere. They are hidden among us civilians and most of us will never know. But wearing marine things bring the marine out in people because there is a connection there that only a few people have.

Be proud of a marine

I know i am